As I sit and type, it is 2:00am and the cat and I are wide awake, listening to the horrendous wind and occasionally looking outside to see if we can detect the source of some sinister sound. How’s that for alliteration?
Seriously though, wind is one of those natural phenomena that has a tendency to steal my peace. There’s something so unsettling about it. My husband doesn’t quite understand why it bothers me so much, but I think part of the reason is because it brings such a sense of being out of control. I can only sit and listen and watch, and pray it doesn’t wreak too much havoc.
It has made me realize, though, that most of my fears stem from a lack of control over something. And let’s face it, I’m not in control of a whole lot! Oh, I may certainly try to be, but in reality I am not.
I do have a choice over how I respond to that lack of control. I can panic–which I often do–and attempt to assert my grip on whatever I think I can control, which stresses me and the people around me. Or, I can acknowledge my inability to control the situation, person, natural event, etc. etc. When I am able to do this, I put myself in a better position to trust that the One who knows me, loves me, and will never leave me DOES have things in his control.
Do you remember the verse from 1 Peter? “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1Pet. 5:6-7 (NIV)
Look at those first 2 words–humble yourselves. Acknowledge that we are not the ones in control. THEN we can take our anxiety and hand it to him. If we never admit that we can’t do much on our own, we will continue to stress and strive and be fearful. Is this an easy process to work through? Not usually, at least for me. It is oftentimes a downright battle.
So will all this help me go back to sleep while the wind howls around me? Well, maybe, if I can focus my attention on the fact that even though I have no control over it, God does. And no matter what comes because of it, I won’t face it alone. Because he cares for me. Even weary, fearful me.
I’m going back to bed now.
I find that most of my fear and anxiety stem from not having control too. It’s difficult to admit that control is an illusion. I am having trouble letting go of everything and leaving it with Him.
There are times when I feel like He has to gently, but firmly, pry my white-knuckled fingers off what I’m holding onto. And even then it’s a battle to LEAVE my hands off of it! It really is a day-to-day struggle to surrender.
Yes, it is!
I find that most of my fear and anxiety stem from not having control too. It’s difficult to admit that control is an illusion. I am having trouble letting go of everything and leaving it with Him.
There are times when I feel like He has to gently, but firmly, pry my white-knuckled fingers off what I’m holding onto. And even then it’s a battle to LEAVE my hands off of it! It really is a day-to-day struggle to surrender.
Yes, it is!